Department of Education Law

Resolved by Congress An Act Department of Education Law This law overrides and replaces all prior rules regarding the Department of Education. The office of Secretary of Education is abolished. The Department of Education shall be ruled (not merely "led") by the newly established office of Minister of Education, who cannot hold office whatsoever except by satisfying all of the qualifications in the following paragraph and then later being appointed by the President and confirmed by the Senate. The Minister of Education has the sole power to write all rules for the Department of Education, and has the unilateral power to remove any person from office at the Department of Education, and shall be treated as both Judge and Prosecutor for the purpose of removing the pensions of any person who works for the Department of Education whose conduct is unbecoming of an officer of the United States. The Minister of Education has the power and responsibility for appointing arbiters underneath her for recursively carrying out her removal powers on those lower down in the Department of Education. However, the Minister of Education cannot, under any circumstances, yield to someone else the power to make rules or policies (other than to provide legal backing to the rules that a teacher or principle makes at a school in full compliance with the rules specifically written and published by the Minister of Education in the Federal Register). The qualifications to be Minister of Education (these qualifications need only be satisfied right before appointment) shall be (1) the candidate Minister of Education is a woman who has never been through a divorce, (2) the candidate Minister of Education is under the age of 30, (3) the candidate Minister of Education taught English classes at a public high school in Chicago for at least 3 years to more than 60 students per day for more than 200 days in each of those calendar years, (4) the candidate Minister of Education has had at least 3 students who graduated from her school come back voluntarily to say that she was their favorite teacher. The President is prohibited from removing the Minister of Education for any reason if the President lacks a qualified replacement Acting Minister of Education. This is a perfectly valid restriction on the President's executive powers as per the doctrine (that is more fundamental than the idea of "executive power") of "continuity of government". Furthermore, as a separate matter of law (severable from the earlier clause of this paragraph if the Supreme Court rules this restriction unconstitutional) the President is prohibited from removing the Minister of Education. Minister of Education can only be removed by Impeachment signed by 1/2 the members of the House of Representatives and 2/3rds of the U.S. Senators, which shall be treated in all cases as legally equivalent to the House using its Constitutional "Sole Power of Impeachment" and the Senate using its Constitutional "Sole Power to Try All Impeachments". Every U.S. District Court Judge in the state of Illinois has the sole jurisdiction to review and overturn actions taken contrary to this law, and has the power to, by verbal order, reinstate a wrongfully removed Minister of Education, or remove a supposed Minister of Education who lacked the qualifications demanded by this Act. (This sentence is legally severable from the rest of this paragraph if declared unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court) The decisions of that Judge are not appealable to any other Judge or Justice in the United States. Everyone in the United States who owns shares of stock in a corporation anywhere in the world is obligated to pay a once-per year tax of 1% of the value of those shares of stock to the Internal Revenue Service, which shall divide that tax money equally between the employee salaries for all Internal Revenue Service employees and the new fund called the "Department of Education budget". This tax is backed up by the standard audit rules and prosecution for tax fraud. The Minister of Education has the sole right to write rules for spending the money in the Department of Education budget. Any expenditure of money from the Department of Education budget that is not in clear compliance with the rules written by the Minister of Education is fraud, punishable with a fine of up to 120% of the money wrongly taken, and a minimum prison sentence of 1 year and 1 day, and a maximum prison sentence of 6 years. The Minister of Education has the power and responsibility to hire teachers and principals as U.S. Government employees to work in U.S. public schools, which shall be purchased by her from the state or local governments who formerly own them for their eminent domain price, and no higher. No property tax will be paid by the Department of Education to any state or local government; instead, in compliance with state and local laws requiring states and local governments to fund education, the money thus earmarked by that state or local government MUST be paid to the U.S. Department of Education budget up to whatever amount was spent from the Department of Education budget on the base salaries of all public school teachers paid by the Department of Education as federal employees in that state. The former laws regarding debts owed under previous education laws (such as for federally backed student loans) are nullified; no money may be collected under such loans to the extent that control or beneficial interest in that loan is held by the United States. The Minister of Education is prohibited from taking out loans, and no loan may be based on any property or operations of the Department of Education.

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